GOT: The Ghost and Jon Snow
By Amanda Rossenrode
***WARNING - SPOILERS ARE COMING***
Game of Thrones is pretty great this season, there’s not a lot of argument there. From epic dragon battles to touching reunions and the slip of some VERY important information (let the woman talk SAM! No one wants to hear your whining! What are you doing handing an irreplaceable book containing the most important information in the show’s history to a BABY?). There are a lot of questions that still need to be answered but to me the most burning question is:
What happened to the surviving dire wolves?
Lady, Sansa’s dire wolf, died in season one, introducing what kind of an insufferable snot Joffrey was shaping up to be. In time, Robb’s, Rickon’s and Bran’s would all die, more or less in the service of their masters. Nymeria got chased into the woods by Arya and was briefly seen this season for the first time in years but took off because … she was just done with the magical bond she formed with Arya? What’s the point of having a magical bond with your pet if they are going to abandon it the moment they find some regular non-magical animals to pal around with? And what’s Ghost and Jon’s excuse? Of all the wolves with the exception of Robb’s, Ghost has stuck with Jon like white on wolf. You know where Ghost would have been useful? At the Battle of the damn Bastards. Not only is he the size of a pony, he’s super intelligent and psychically connected to Jon. Couldn’t Jon have sent him to the left of Ramsey and sicced him on that whey-faced, crazy-eyed psychopath right before he shot off that arrow? Ramsey didn’t do too well with regular dogs, I’m pretty sure Ghost could take him. Or even just knocked Rickon four feet to the left?
Ghost would have been an asset at Dragonstone as well. I know, having a giant dire wolf on a ship for weeks might make the crew a little nervous. I can’t take my cat to the vet without her trying to claw through her carrier, but I don’t take her places because she’s not very impressive. Whenever I take my cat to meet foreign dignitaries I just seem crazy, standing there in my fur cape with a stressed out, dehydrated tabby cat on a leash. That’s why I don’t do it. In Jon case, it’s his super intelligent, magical and deadly dire wolf he can control with his mind, not unlike Dany’s super intelligent and deadly dragons she can control with her mind. It would make him seem a bit more legit with his tale of undead soldiers shambling ten feet a day towards Westeros if they had this in common. Just a little small talk they could make before discussing the whole bending the knee business.
Think of the scene where he pets the dragon, imagine how Ghost being there would have changed it! People bond in the dog park all the time over their overindulgent pride in their pets (or “children”, like some pet owners like to say). It would be like Must Love Dogs, just with more fire and blood and if John Cusack and Diane Lane were related! Or maybe that does happen in Must Love Dogs,? I’ve never seen it. Do Cusack and Lane join their armies to fight zombies? If so, I may rent it.
The dire wolves were a big part of the books and I always felt like they were leading up to something, even though they were getting picked off in a way that would make Sarah McLachlan cameo as a bar wench and plead to the Westerosi to donate just ten copper pennies s a month to help save the remaining wolves. If Nymeria’s encounter with Arya was her Old Yeller send off, telling Arya to go on now, that it was time for them to part ways, then that’s a little lame (I also haven’t seen Old Yeller. I assume everyone goes on now, and lives happily ever after while pursuing their own lives independently).
At least Nymeria has a point. Arya did chase her away years ago. She has a right to be a little miffed. But where did Jon leave Ghost? The Wall? Last I saw Ghost he was holding diligent vigil over Jon’s dead body. I haven’t seen him loping around Winterfell. If so, that’s a pretty jerk move Snow, you obviously know nothing about pet ownership, if anything at all. My mother left her loyal as loyal can be dog with me for a couple months while she was visiting family. The dog was so beside himself he started listening to Morrissey and declared I wasn’t his real mom. He found a hole in the fence and no joke, started hanging out with a bad crowd. He would escape and roam the neighborhood with a pack of strays. All the “good boys” and rides in the car could not replace the space in his heart my mother filled. Even my aforementioned feline, who is mostly aloof and imagines herself a sellsword we pay in wet food, was affectionate to my sister while she was house-sitting last year. That shows extreme emotional upset. And that cat is as affectionate as I am proficient in basic algebra.
So Jon, you’re a terrible pet owner. You emotionally neglect an animal that has devoted his life to being the brains and the brawn behind your crazy schemes. Shame. Shame. Shame!
Or, to put another fan theory on an already weighted table: Is there a major significance that only Jon’s wolf is still in the picture? Or is HBO just tired of footing the bill for all these CG Lil Pet Shop pets?